Jokes

I am quite the jester. Enjoy my jokes and riddles below!

Good ol' Jokes

• Q: A man puts alcoholic drinks on a drone and flies it into the sky. Why was he so happy?
  A: It lifted his spirits.


• A man tells his friend that he can make a knife out of milk.
  So he freezes the milk, carving it into a blade.
  But his friend doesn't believe that the milk knife is sharp
  So the man pokes his friend with it
  As his friend shouts in pain, the man says while holding the blade,
  "Casein point".


• Q: Why do chemists have such big teeth?
  A: Molar mass.

CS/Java Jokes

Note: A high cringe tolerance and level of nerdiness is required to appreciate these jokes. It hurt me to write them as much as it may hurt you to read them.

• A programmer rushes into the hospital.
  "Doctor, I'm having abdominal pain, down here on my right! What should I do?
  The doctor says, "Ah! Appendicitis!
  The programmer says,
  Doctor, I'm having abdominal pain, down here on my right! What should I do?icitis!


• Q: Which Java object is the loudest?
  A: String. It's immutable.


• A group of 100 Java programmers attend the ArrayList convention.
  As one more Java programmer tries to enter, a fire marshall blocks him.
  "Don't you see the sign!? This room is not to exceed a max capacity of 100 people!"
  The programmer responds,
  "What's the problem? There's enough capacity for twice as many people here!"


• A young programmer refuses to learn max, min, and pow.
  "Why don't you want to learn these methods?", the teacher asks.
  His student responds, "because I hate Math class!"


• Binary Search Mergesort: "Now that we've got that all sorted out, let's search"


• Q: Why should you never try to split a 10-slice pizza amongst 3 Java programmers?
  A: One slice gets wasted.


• A concrete class Marriage is about to do its wedding vows when its superclass stands up and shouts,
  "I Object!"


• Q: Why are Java programmers so good at boosting GDP?
  A: They import a lot.


• A programmer approaches his senior-dev boss, looking for a promotion.
  His boss, confused by the request, asks,
  "What do you mean you want to getArrays()?"


• "Would you like a byte of my double cheeseburger? The char on the patty is delicious!"
  "Life is too short to long for healthy food!
  The Java programmer writhes and foams at the mouth.


• I wonder why ternary operators exist. Everytime I use them, I end up with more questions than answers.